May 19, 2013
-
to say “i’m sorry”
If *I* were to say i am sorry
people tend to agree, totally.
therefor I find it unfair I’m denied humility
except face-down in a forever pile of shit.
And, don’t think I haven’t had that experience either.
I have had it and it smells bad – I missed out on the taste.
…
any moment
of greatness
is suspect &
inspected for
that taint of
woop for you
hurry up and
outdo me and
fast! or he’ll
get dillusions
he might have
a fucking prayer
so, if i say I’m
…
ever so sorry, I think that didn’t go well
it may have been in bad taste, or some
other sin of choice, just remember that should,
I admit that, I’m fucked forever without redemption
which for others is a whoops sa sorry but for me is the
the complete and total ruination of all hope and life kill me now
Because that is what all of my life experiences lead me to conclude
if i say i am sorry i am indeed completely without hope of redemption
-
if i say i’m great
i may be, shh, not so loud
me step to the plate?
just prove it, who would believe?
facts are meant to be denied.
Comments (19)
@plantinthewindow - sometimes there is no tactful or tasteful out. so… I get to choose lump it with pride or I’m so sorryyes i am to be denied. lol, but yeah I meant the above and quite a lot. i find i must defend overly any small instances of pride or don’t even get those small treasures. thanks for the read kindly one.
wow. just … wow.
you are so very honest and candid, Josh.
I think, perhaps … I wish that people could, instead of saying, “I’m sorry”, they could simply hug and love one another and say “yes.” no harm, no foul, nothing wrong here. what is, is. I wish our egos could be that weak.
a long time ago I got tired of saying, “I’m sorry.” I would say it all the time, and it killed me. I caught myself doing it again, recently. that phrase is misdirected, I think. it bothers me, to say the least, and when I say it, I feel badly, inside.
I’m very glad you shared this.
i’m sorry. horrible words. either meaningless or too meaningful.
how about a hug.
@promisesunshine - hugs are nice, please
. although if… if I were thinking instead of yet another lamp shaped concrete this could have been a barbell shaped on 
drat. or it is if you allow for a bit of dyslexia 
@plantinthewindow - Sounds really familiar. I never got the hang of apologizing, and yet it was a constant need in that relationship. Now it’s different because I know I’m forgiven by God in the first place, I’m not the insecure wretch I was, and I have a better understanding of what the offense was in the first place.
Your title reminds me of one of Elton John’s finest.
@Roadkill_Spatula - amazing grace into elton john?
nice. 
i love that this made top blogs. i’m hoping that helps. if not, here is ginormous HUG! oxooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@Bels_Kaylar - lol i didn’t even check but i’ll take the hug
thank you
Aw,
, Starman. This is so honest and so sincere and so vulnerable and I understand it…I’ve felt this way…totally feel this way many times.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
I don’t believe you (or I) are “fucked forever without redemption”…but, if we are…maybe we will find ourselves in the same place for eternity and we can enjoy enjoy enjoy…with no “sorry’s” necessary or needed!
HUGS!!! LOTS of HUGS!!! MORE HUGS!!!
@adamswomanback - oh lol again i was just mad i didn’t get a tactful out and then sensed some acidic sarcasm…. it’s not the first time I’ve bollocks a social situation but I’m just a bit less inclined to ask an obvious question…what do you want me to do say i’m sorry? at a certain point it is better to flip the bird and see what happens….I find unappologetic behaviour often wins out while the courtesies do not…and again it’s a choice to say or not say i’m sorry…. it does bother me taking the megalomaniac approach to living because if you can’t sense that is how i’d be responding… you really do not listen to me. no offense. I’m not aiming to be a ‘cult of personality’ the career lifespan is very much in doubt. not to mention it isn’t particularly nice.
Some folks truly feel sorry and they often do penance (derived from repentent or forgiven). I am glad I don’t have to confess to a priest or jump into a pile of excretement for penance.
However I believe in Japan they did go outside and pour cold water on themselves. I suppose some people show they are sorry and offer a gift. I never heard of an employee who admitted wrong and allowed a deduction from his paycheck but a lot of people when they say they are sorry are open to a lawsuit and often have to pay for damages.
@starmanjones - I’ve always been a person who apologizes to others…and then sometimes I find out they are just using or taking advantage of my “like/need to please” nature. Oh, well, I don’t think I’ll change in this regard. I wish I could be tougher…flip the bird…get mad…stand up for myself. But, it’s not really in me.
@PPhilip - there is plenty of room to make any aact of contrition a circus act….hence the point I’m not after that. it makes me rebellious. .
@adamswomanback - okay
so i’m a tad mad. proving yet again i do care. lol and know that thus my i’m sorrys seem to matter more and by that i mean unfairly more and thus baring a simple delete I’ll be xanga front page being a passionate idiot. :Dhee hee
Know that feeling well myself. {{{Hugs}}}
great work…now to try to interpret the poem’s shape
@godfatherofgreenbay - THE DOUBLE LAMP AT BARGAIN HOTELS???