not going as planned?

dream; it takes the edges off nicely

it's still true but? ahhhhhhhh

 x-x

- _ -

Sacks of Brown

Parodying "Back in Black" AC/DC

Sacks of  brown
smell the sound
dug 'um up fresh
for you to wolf on down
what's your excuse
just cut loose
no one will think you're a drug addict lout
lets let our brains fry
surfing vortexes of the wall's eye
ballz trippin joys when color smells collide
screw your 8-balls
withdrawls
just be one with nature - a wild child

here's your sack
get me back
say no to crack
welcome back
wolf down a sack, sack
lbm's jack
yes, here's your sack.

during your nap
against the bike rack
long hair becomes mullet & neither style's back
avoid officer Pfief
and Johhny Law's jail tonight
you'll hate how that gavel done rang
but no needle tracks
just a few sacks
a little somethin somethin to relax
your momma'll have a cow
and cuss your paint off, and how
don't get busted, that's what freedom's about

here's your sack
get me back
say no to crack
welcome back
wolf down a sack, sack
lbm's jack
yes, here's your sack

here's your sack,  grown out back
here's your sack,  grown out back
sprouted from black in sack
perspective's attacked

booo ya
mind fucked
allakazzam!
oh wow, I'm not wicked now
magic man
in this sack, this sack
all natural, man
never canned.
no powders
or sand
Sacks
here's your sack.
magic-man's Sacks of brown

firstly, nice happening today, I sold 2 pictures used to which I made cash or otherwise consideration of value towards. woot.  these two pictures represent the first time I deliberately did something quasi-artistic and in snap a picture portrait of a person ...sorta art shhh, that sold. 

 

the rest of my day was chaos control.  dealing with how to get something anything done but the annoyance of having to get it done in a "right" manner versus ...ah, just wing it.  there is no winging digging into 29 songs for one at a flash in unnamed files.  it doesn't happen. it's not fast.  this is the fourth outting in which I had to do what is swiftly known as "asshole" work.  why asshole?  because it's thankless and irritating and doesn't pay well ala bitter housewife syndrome with teeth...five minutes flat.... I have a headache.. fuck you aspirin.  again, Plus here, I completed the asshole work including doing it all over again with all the new more extra stuff and left with a collated pile of controlled chaos. yau me.  you heard it here first, I'm capable of worthiness and assholery..   I can be a worthy asshole.  now all kidding asiode...ah the joys of puns.

 

we need a new paragraph.

 

and another.

 

tomorrow which threatens to snow...par for the course...my time and...challenge... I finally have out to get a test nifty in- stop motion photography take what is it now? 4 times...forget.  wish me luck   interestingly though this artistic chance and the long paragraph above shows an interesting thing.

 

it doesn't matter that while I hoped to be artistic and you heard I already am but that's not what i intended I mean to make videos of higher art.. it occurs to me people paying don't care they want and want now and if one does what one can well and swiftly, okay not my turn to be ridly scott or spike jonez...but, I get to learn something of first: I can and did acheive saleable art...first time.. I can make simple things as uncommunicated (frustrating) asked for/expected and realize what  i never truly understood about myself and one feeling

 

how come no one invests/chooses me?  duh you just heard people do and i might be frustrating... don't rub it in.  but, there is something to be said about avoiding ponderables and asking answerable questions.  not am i any good yes no opinion stuff thank you uou you and you you you  YOU and you for saying so... you know who you are   but hey i have this can we get anywhere with it?  what this? who cares= we have something more solid to ponder. smaller specific not some hooey am i a charming fellow...hopefully..am I well dressed stylish right now...by the way I'm comfortably mismatched with tannish shoes, dress black pants and a sweat suit style grey zip yet pullover thingum...  comfy clash...  well , to see first hand why we must choose to believe in say oh joshy has 3-- pages of "fine" poetic offerings?  doully inked diatribes demonstrations lamentations exultation sillinesses tritenesses INQUISITIONS (no one ever expects the Spannish Inquisition..yeah yeah, saw the monte python) caresses *you bet of her fine body) kinkinesses *yes, i'm talking whole chicken too) and lastly seranades.. you know 300 pages of fiddlesticks!  yes i worked on that acronymn too, it requires me first to put forth something manageable and maybe even reasonable- not perhaps always whomp! there it is....or isn't   I saw this.  interesting lesson to see how more constructively positive negative and within fair and free choice others can contribute or detract help or not like or dislike whats offered YET the magic lesson here isn't that entirely but to validate myself in the process of offering my own "offerings" hoping or succeeding or failing to gain praise YET more importantly allowing such to happen without twisting anothers arm like a tyrant expecting demanding a result.  i owe a thosand appologies to the universe as per usual but at least i see "" what is meant by a lifetime of feeling cheated by others offerings many have but there is a line when one can and should try to avoid a bit of emotional vampirism.

 

it's also nice to see swiftly and easily that I'll finish my archiving projects but while the artistic contributions can happen i see little hope for them because I frankly can't as easily deal with the thanklessness of having to sort the mess out first to begin to make something happen for myself or anyone.  the impatience in using what is essentially my effort to another's gain is not one slap in the face but the second dude where where you- um i was there all along what happened to the complete effort of properly archived materials?  foot tap...dude you need a shirt that says doesn't play nice with others   smell the thankless ness coming on?  two ways to acheive a common goal where the way  ... two different ones... is the important part- um colision course!

 

so, long as this poor blog is...aw you poor reader..

tomorrow, garunteed likely to be ucky weather because I felt pinched on my energies today and ended one portion of the day with okay there's always tomorrow.... heheheh evil chuckle.... stop motion photography in a semi frozen creek bed in the hopefully actually glorious hore-not whore- frost or snow...let us hope together that I have water resistant temperature saving feetwear like the shoes advertised!  video games if i'm lazy or simple one picture video youtube production... have this fancy-ass opensource thingum to cuss you wouldn't believe how I cuss this computer all day long ooo if it enforced a cuss jar...which it doeshahaha i had to upgrade it...you'd yeah thought ran away from me finish it as you see fit...except YOU,-   okay even you too can play along

 

tomorrow's menu because it wasn't today is:

Loose Burger Sandwiches, a hearty North-American treat of extra meat browned and drowned in yep a meat broth to make burger become roast succulent sliced strips of roast hunks  of mmmmm topped in a rich sauce of chilied meat cooked to a decidedly urbane offering of simple fare of yep, more meat... are you sensing a very male meal coming?  Sweet potato Fries as they's just gotta be gotten to. and for some annoying end of month reason my vegetable options are something snap peas maybe rotel'd *dice tomatoes with chili and onion and pine nuts-- ooo Chinese-style veggie stir fry vegetable green ness! ... I am capable of dessert but I often do not eat it so- my dessert option is blueberry poppyseed fry bread drenching, dripping,exquisitely shiny! fry bread with whipped cream and duh blue berries atop..  gotta use up that almond syrup i bought.

 

 

]

making tea, fiddley-dee, the right way or

the wrongest way possibly; let's choose your way.

let it begin with desire of a slaked thirst

ahh bullshit harmony metaphyisical

or catch me stylishly showin' of the goods

whatever you pleasure, we've to make it

 

pleasure's the point; style's judged opinion

thus there is - a right way - and a wrong way

your supportive  cheers or 'done-wrong' damnation

there's more than one way to skin kitty cat

and at it's heart we're talking tea, were we not?

pot or vessel right? water hot, add leaves.

 

Adams in The Salmon of Doubt said the right way's

isn't so much the action, but attitude

not ceremony but of a science

it's simply done with care not boasted about

so to-night it's iced tea pleasures I sip

warmed me bowl & tea water, iced cup, brew in.

-

 

   I'm pretty sure that I know how to make a proper cup of tea and I'm pretty sure I ruined it wrongly with saying it wasn't presented in a pretty way.  the point here was more to try to keep a speaking idiom of mine- to try and see if this reads as if it makes any sense at all yet to a beat.    Maybe i succeed, Maybe i succeed and the subject suck...glug glug, yeah  whatever big deal oo a poem on tea....  maybe i fail it doesn't make sense yay you all can tell i'm excited about something unclear and  whatever...  maybe you'll get the searing logic and style that I believe it's fine to be excited- i was enough to try to talk in the first place...thus defeating the whole point Adams had when hewrote an essay on how to make tea the right way- I am sure no one can miss that this is one in a plastic to go cup ...the wrong way so very me this moment...  and thus hmn. we'll see what you've to say.

if one is imaginative, the follow is a sausage  cross. .  it is resized and cropped with decent clarity the camera is fairly adepts at focusing and what at automatically.  however xanga this time sucks the sausage for requiring so much compression to save space  okay okay any internetting would require this  but heh whine! i had to nick over to picnik.com to resize this under x size the worst quality possible

 

bratwurst.. buns and tonight's available condiments are sweet relish and ketchup if you care. now, to get out and try my projects.

 

perhaps perhaps

self improvement - I figured, screw it, I wasn't getting what i wanted back when this blog started...fine it happens and it's alll right- but it got me thinking about a lot of things i wanted and wasn't getting.  time passes and with a lil shine and maybe spitting out some too, here's what i worked on and get to alert you to:

• daily ironing heh i still do better to care for things like image even though i personally cant obviously see such narly literally blind and certainly legally blind.  funny that.
• I still am diabetic which means I can be sugar crazy should i have a bit less of that coping because i have a bit much of the sugar going- well? I do watch and control food intake but barring beating diabetes, I'm likely to be unsettled after meals ...sugar goblins... for the forseeable future food ghouls. tonight I had me one after dinner and it upset me catching some words on whatever it was oh sure i'm likely guilty lol- but one isn't supposed to have words back past contrition!  ooops
• I'm better at saving though i still have the same long term challenges of no ing spending- at least I'm well fed - five and a half years into  life after i could have been not alive.  for you see i grew up in a faith that doesn't accept blood transfusions...Jehovah's Witnesses...and while i may have well over a generation ago chosen not to become one- I don't and never will be comfortable accepting blood...diabetes medication or any medication with rDNA on the label as it's source- means? some form of blood is extracted for some genetic coding or factor spliced and diced into e coli typically bacteria and the bacteria is grown a bunch and fed sugar to live easy enough and it secrets  as it's waste the "goods" now, I'm not thee smartest nor the most lawyerie soul but that means that indirectly ive just consumed a blood product and that makes me ethically squeamish- but apparently not so squeamish i want to die- but hey religion is religion is you follow one honor dictates to the best of your ability you follow every tenant even if such means your life-  honor is honor.  I'm not of that faith so i live- but i'm dubious even today some.  I don't like the subject of ethics and religion to cut so close or to cause me conflict. even little ones  but the choice was made and i live.  insulin used to be an animal product which doesn't bother me ethically as an omnivore five and a half year after i showed I have to better manage what i eat . oh now I love to cook but shucks no cokes, too many beers etc i have ways to prove i survive challenges.  ...see half a page, mentioned food.
• I bought a new camera today which while relating to the above challenge of saving/spending yes, here's a difference.  even now I'm not penniless- even if I didn't manage to save a very important thing happens now more and more-  I didn't go out gambling like i might have a decade or more ago and came home with a tear in a beer somewhere sainara to cash, I have a bit more to show for my choices.  I'm happy and comforted by this
• my credit score rose thirteen point. literally if it does that again soon i've acheive a goal 3 or so more months on that front- but the milestones of where i was literally a decade ago destitute for oops went on trip and returned a day late to respond to something that cost me? 2 years nearly income- I wasn't working that instant and on ssi-  nearly 8 years nope exactly eight years to today i have ssdi- a simple to you acronymn addition  but that one letter makes a world of difference in empowerment to me- that difference of letter means i'm not indigent and disabled i've worked more than the five years it typically takes to qualify for ssdi or what medically disable workers get it took over ten years to acheive.... ahh just starting out in life...sometimes you have to restart again and again that stalled vehicle and such not
• I've learned that a lil magic can and does happen.  one of my favorites is to see today markyet another month i've never missed a day yammering with a friend it's been five months now or one hundred and fifty-two days.
• and one of the best kindness this one helps me see is that i don't have to focus on the obvious flipside of perhaps my "least favorite magic" 
• I'mhappy thus to report that  while i may have faultered on the d
• one hardship is that i can not say i'm chosen -  as in fully invested in i work on finding that reality. duh this means that my lot is seemingly to find this all on my own as i'm stubborn/independant that way but duh thank a good number of you for helping as friends along that way i will be nice and not mention names and lessons helped with.
• to remind you of what i'm after, this year the only stated goal that really counts is that i learn to not let other folks successes especially those oposite of my aims be an invalidation to me.  I'm not saying any of us will go unaffected by others...that would be very boring...but there is no reason that I can't look myself in the eye after seeing someone succeed and feel worse for it. why ? because they succeed doing the opposite of my intention with what works for them... yeah?  well it's hard sometimes to genuinely care for others if their success costs me seemingly mine- which needn't be true even if i love you and we disagreee and oh say oops i didn't with a "battle" or the war" so long as i survive i've won so to speak  of course i can... do this, i just want to be better at it!

 

another step upon that road to a bit more self empowerment- again thank you to all who help - is growing in what of this i can wield.  to give- hopefully wisely.  oh now, of course i'm sure I've blown it- the opportunity to be wise here or there and a good many balloons up in my 13,500 some days spinin around in circles   but while that happens, I'm sure that you can see the point of this spinning about isn't the dizzy fall down, but getting twirling again.

1. my house is cleaner more often
2. I've better sugar control and I improve with that and a pile of other health factors ...knock on wood...
3. I've decades  milestones on some of my efforts coming to fruition
4. I volunteer again simply for the joy of it..which reminds me i had better get to bed or i'll miss tomorrow's installment of bingo trivia
5. I've survived changing roommates for a change without having to move...it's nice when that happens

and?  I'm down the road.

 

apparently i bought a fairly substantial camera.   12.1 megapixels, 50% more optical zoom- digital zoom often sucks, nice color pallette which to me is pleasure...the colors.... 24% off going market for a floor model... I might kinda actually want to take pictures again... no offense i hated that pentax from the day it became mine it's color rendering is harsh to me. ...it stopped reliably reading the card which means the card is shot perhaps but i just bought the card i give- it didn't work the last big outting out.  it's worth a new card and a gifting to another 10 bucks to give someone a camera who might want one- that's for a card and a card reader know someone that needs a camera talk at me  

 

 

 

 

because there are times when the olive institution green pills get at me as does the lack of internet...ouchage not outtage it's time for a story.... and a hug.

  hmn, where to go who to do and what the hell is for dinner?.....

 

I know!

 

softly fluttering

clumps not lawn's carpet dancing

the wind stirs the grass

 

there is a carpet of innocence - that is a winter snow.  the memory of mute sky and snowflakes dancing like a innocent confetti before the eyes.  Isolation over a cup of hot cocoa looking out upon it all.  Feeling the warmth cheated from the scene that should otherwise be.  that warth is a hug.  the scene is prairie timeless yet caught in its changes0 be it from a warm truck on a drive hither and yon- or for some sometimes the view out the parlor window.  There is a symbiosis of feeling and thought that is us wholly within a private scene.  us, yeah right me, you, seperately at one withour thoughts expanded to a scene before us - no matter who else happens to be about.  this is the truth of an alone across empty.  this is harvest a dim memory.  this is- yes, just is.

 

piercing this moment is that warning of another voice that says no matter the words- please beware of how soon the surroundings however large trap us into the smallness of doom ever around.   a stupid thought really- did you enjoy your hot chocolate?  I mean duh, if you didn't you'd not continue to sip at it subtly smiling.  you know too it's a subtext that i ask not for the hug around you but that you share with me again a little of your thoughts.  and hey now i feel you slipping gently away in the waves bobbing you the island away to a never seen again.    i wonder if you'll punish me for breaking rudely into such a moment reverie or just echo the feeling desolation around.

 

there is seemingly nothing around but alternating freedom andor empty.  the sky glows a hollow grey. life is everywhere rabit visions to a hawk chagrinned at the slimmest of picking now.  the feeling of how dare I be seen here in the winter of circumstance.... it's a living.  the scraggly wood post fence speaks of a story of trying to hold safe something we know is there or is coming and yet how useless this barbed wire is...you'd swear more of a hassle to you than that of the big ones lumbering about. the rabits unphased, the mice at dis ease over being someone's dinner squeek! against the unjustness of it all. the children simply brush it asside- this fence- and romp whatever left of the space set aside now violated and trampled.  but now i suppose the fences are too much of a bother to take down.  what's done is done.  whatever silliness came of it.  the point remains respect this little scene mine knowing so few never do i bet even you want to romp within the pleasure of it- this place set aside but that means hopping the fence and risking the ruination of the image- the pressed clothesready to be torn just enough to show that trampled worn look- whatever it is not put together.

 

but think yourself to the scene.  join me into a lil moment to worry someone saw us oooooo! such a sin.  what were YOU doing ooooooo I know all about that.  so what shh lets go!  hibatchi on me back.a grocery sack of goods. a tarp, a blanket or two. maybe even a thyermos should I've been lucky ...okay,maybe two one for hot cocoa and one of tea. one for us you see and one for me.  I too am that kind of greedy.   the silliness. yes the silliness of my offer of a moment stollen from whats about is to set up camp and this dinner shared from whats about. grasing on the sights. grazing on the goodness stolen from winter sleeping. a white death about but some call that innocence.  look around us at the tracks we've made

 

feel the fate blow.  behind a flimsey blanket or three it's just you and me willing dawn to take a moment longer to arrive.  saying good bye to a moment is a sweet lament.

 

 

four a.m. soul time

winds down slooow; will dawn fire?

What's Tomorrow bring?

 

-

 

I have before me

memories tucked away

storied starlight beams

 

-

Yester's Love-lights shine

un-inking darknesses Pierced

no ending's design

 

-

I dream of lentils

languishing now abandoned

another dream  chilled

 

-

scratched clock dial

whiling away the time 'til

a reason to smile

 

-

tell me I can grasp

with a grip unrellenting

my net and its catch

 

-

 

so, soon supper's bell

rings for what the pot boiled

burp: today's book-ended

 

-

Tomorrow Tell me

show me in starfire bright

hope spent and redeemed

 

-

'I love you' echoes

retern to devil my ears

in angelic tones.

 

 

-

oh and...

 

See!  I didn't  rhyme the form

I'm feelin' friskee!

Seven, Five -Seven's Heaven.

 

that's my time peeps. gotta get.

 

due to short term internet library action...hopefully short term... I can't write anything long so parts is parts and this first is allll  @adamswomanfell

 

there is this time perfect for hot dogs microwaved; mustarded

No Wonder new York's an island city throwin' dat childhood ketchup away

 

bun length, Inserted smokin,' hot. red. ready. slathered and saucey eaten WHOLE

 

Simple, the sandwich meat between bread, may hunger move

you toward happiness op'n'up; here I come, satiate demand.

 

okay, when i return i'll color this pretty fonts and make it look like a real concrete poem of a hotdog but i simply do not have time now.  sorry but the wait's surely juicy enough.

 

 

no net likely for a spell :9(