The Great american pie adventure, my first dessert in the new house has begun.  As often as I cook, I’m capable of dessert too.  HELP me to eat the pie…. oh here’s how it’s made.

First, Elevator Music.

Christopher Cross; Sailing.

why? duh, it’s a “‘key’ lime pie.”

 

you need to do a better job with garnishing than I did lol but heh this pie which makes two pies really is

jello cheese cake pudding- I had to get the sugar free as I didn’t have an option it was sugar free or no recipe. 

jello – french vanilla- the small box this is plenty enough for two pies.

king sooper but go ahead and get any 2 – 7oz cans of aerosol whipped cream. why two instead of one 14oz?  you measure what left in an aerosol can- it’s a bitch.

milk- althou not pictured you need a cup of milk so clean out the can of sweetened condensed milk

14 oz can sweetened condensed milk

5-6 limes

a shooter of rum

graham cracker crust I used  8 inch which is why this recipe would alloth two of those or one heaping 9 inch pie and an oops to the helpers

-

I used

a cutting board,

a steak knife

an hors d’ouvres fork

a strainer

a mixing bowl

a piece of paper towel

-

juice the limes cutting the zest you’d like,  if you fuck up like I did after a spicific sized strip/patch you’ll pay with an additional step of de pitching the zest..the white stuff’s nasty. add cyour filling should not reach the rim, mondensed milk, cleaned can of additional milk – blend, taste it- it’s very very limey now, Ishould have mixed the jello pudding in at this point too but I didn’t.  spray all the whole  7 oz can of aerosol cream in fold it into the mix.  squeeze a lil lime juice on the pie shel then a little rum- I got too much and blotted it up to avoid soggy crust….  lets be honest the rums for the adult cook.  topwith whipped cream – I dotted mine and placed the sailboat should’ve been atop that.  okay the garnish sunk the boat…pie… who cares that’s partially what the rums for.  let it set for 3 hours in a fridge before you cut.  voila.

 

now lets read my comments from the last blog about who’s offered to help eat the sucker..  elevator forever.

I’m going to need help here real soon because I’m out of trash food.  yes junky sugary joyous desserty maybe treats.  this is what’s coming…will me the joy to make it.

I have this thing about like dessert and coffee.  so as this is the last of the planned projects….

jello instant mixes: sugarfree cheesecake, french vanilla

I couldn’t find regular cheesecake flavor instant box *3oz  not the cheesecake in a box kind

a can kroger 14 oz sweetened condensed milk.

a keebler graham cracker ready crust I don’t feel a sinner as I’ve made enough of those from scratch crushing the cracker melting  butter yes butter it has to congeal again to “glue” the crust together….. so since I can scratch I’ll enjoy a freebie mixes/ready made thanks.

 

there?

wrong

a bag of limes  which these smaller’s should make just enough juice 2-4 oz sour/tart lime juice to key lime pie taste the pudding remember mellowed vanilla….with cheese cake…

 

am I done?

no

I’m missing ready whip aerosol whiped cream two small cans- one in the pie filling- yes I’ve whipped eggwhite and whipped cream up many times pardon me a cheat : 

 

there:D

a blend of jello puddings omg luscious sweetened condensed milk which is murder calories and sugar yes but decadent.   mixed in is lime enough to flavor it  “key lime” no I didn’t buy key limes what a effing pain to squeeze a zillion little mables  and worse what zest?  get a curly q out them

 

pie liquor soaked…rum and aerosol cream… sounds like a kinky sex party supplies trip doesn’t it?  that’s my trip then my pie I’ll share a picture later – but I need go fuel so to the bank to pay my last bill and then the store for the cream then the naughty store for booze and then more beer I’ll not want to run out of beer before the yard work’s done yes, while I can afford to I’m literally putting out beer aplenty as it’s magic how that means more gets done with a smile.

 

and you’ll catch me peeling zest too wish me luck fo pretty’s sake.

help help.. be it enthusiasm to move or a mouth to shove full of pie!

slices pizza of east hampden avenue has an almost sourdough pizza crust- mega dough smell walking in to collect food for the hungry at the music swap.  mmmmm it’s been awhile since I went gah over a simple cheese pizza.  I truly thought of how it’d hold up to my test- no pizza joint ever can make me pleased if they can not make a simple mushroom and cheese- I don’t like mushrooms especially much but if done right such is a slice of heaven- this place is slices, is triple nickles combo lunch slices and about to get that challenge

 

 ;) 

I like the thomases bagels. store brand cream cheese bagel setting toasted- for breakfast – but I’m sure a fan of a two slice cheese combination for snack.

 

I got my cup of noodles chicken and splashed some darker sesame oil on them and then the water as directed…fail.  I can get even the same brand of ramen noodles from the pouch not the cup to taste fucking fantastic chicken sesame ramen is grand!  fail- it didn’t blend and blend/marry is critical the idea ain’t bad but the brand sucks for the purpose.

hamm’s as a shandy with minute made cherry limeaid?  for the discerning- not likely to cause a sensationminutemaid cherry lime aid is for the discerning shandy drinker.  I’m okay with it it’s good pleasing but like something you have to be told is the best that ever is

splinter danger to my bare feet. 

 

I have pizza and salad for lunch the salad was lackluster but pleasing too.

 

I blew a minor fortune putting up a new two flood motion light outside replacing the old one. yes blind guy put up his first wired myself installation of a home product. I never have before tied wires for a home I’ve never even replaced a wall outselt the electricity part.  I had to take an emer I’m glad smiles.. food’s good.

gency bathroom break mid job- how annoying but you either want the job done or the job’s ……done. ew.

 

.

I walked into 3 people delivering piza in that darkass I’m blind room- it pleased me… don’t like the way I walk *drive) get out of the way sa sorry for the orneriness

jimmy johns also contributed but I didn’t get to have one the food flew that fast!

I replaced every lightbulb with all flourescent or cfl’s/led’s I was illuminated by another’s words it’s a shame I can’t share.

the dishwasher spins it’s shhhhhuh, shhhhhhuh

dishes on their way to be cleaned

you missed the first meal’s scene

shrip boil taters red, shrimp and old bayall about the

plates powder specksand a mound of shells

smells wafting about on me to tell.

it smells so good one shrimpy shrimp consumed awwww.

all again that mattered was mmm and shhhhhuh shhhhuh,

the dishes being done the trash taken elsewhere

I wonder what drugs I miss of a kinder perspective

dinner’s waiting for those who care for cold leftovers.

 

==

 while I load more elevator music for it’s soothing qualities,  and drink yet another beer- tonight it’s session’s black label beer – full sail brewing co. bend oregon.   I’m contemplating food.I’m contemplating a few other things like heartbreak and disillussionment but you don’t have to party with me there. 

 

beer. mmm.  that’s went right.

 

you missed a minor cat fight over bingo at the old folks home- sharp tongues now lol no hair pulling or blood- sorry to disappoint.  I’mconfused “” as in very swiss on that subject NEUTRAL.  I do and do not care what numbers you get- I after all , have alll seventy five   greedy bingo guy .

 

 

 

it’s may second six thirty ish- .  It took 3 days to move- 2  days by cars for half of it… 2 loads by moving truck monday.

it tooks 3 hours in an empty home and still had to have help making it better with a set of eyes.  Istill wonder if I’ve a shot at my deposit.  I saw thankfully more than just MY sins

I may have about a month’s worth of projects to sort out , clear away, haul away stuff I don’t want.   the advantage of this is: “no one’s done that for YEars”  the disadvantage isobvious I ha eto schleptfoliage.  I got more wounds with yard work than pitching a complete fit moving over potential danger.. 

I’ve limited free poachable internet for a bit yay.

steel reserve or the 211, not my favorite, but finish a can and it’s like finishing 4. (8.1% abv @ 710ml can.)

the dog is learning to be a dog and a headstrong one at that!- 3 I’ll beat yous til he complies. NO the dog doesn’t get beat…often although I reserve the right I do not want him to bit and he’s nippy already.  I’d like to keep him alive.

 

no, this place no matter what I do for month on end will never excite you- it’s a white trash paradise.  there’s no hope I’ll ever impress you period I moved sideways… but I live in a home versus an apartment again. with multiple roommates.  pardon me if i’ll share pictures soon but not yet.