it’s really really sad some days, the style one may exude.  I have a 17 cent notebook qift with my page of goodies to be obtained from the fancy membership savings hut.  I have in my head the basics of what I want from the art store, proximeties  to acheive this, a monthly bus pass, how to handle the next phse of my changes in tobacco consumption (no, you didn’t hear quit but I do need to move this direction) and how the hell I’m to survive the brute force of desires versus realities.

my sister cooks maybe nifty gathering food twice a month, my brother despite a good show of broiled fish is still of the watch outQ the pans may not survive him, the new lady of the house is NOT a cook AT all. and frankly there just isn’t any point whatever in fighting in cash to cook – no one cares and not randomly regularly  to make my opportunities random eats at home. I therefore worry incessantly that this in essence doubles my food budget to eat out.  yeah, that’s my objection – cost then health.  I’m not used to hey it is okay!okay! to get a cup of yummy soup and a salad it’s 5 6 bucks. yeah this means despite normal habit- I might tip for exceptional service because this is one less meal a day if I budget.  amzing concept.   wish me luck.

conceptsare often difficult.

 

yes this means:

less things to do but sit on my hands waiting to make something of life…not preparing, ug.

yes, not being allowed to plan to acheive meaning I’m yes, ooo, not as likely to succeed.

yes and with less crutch stimulants- smoking/nicotine is a stimulant so is caffeine, and stimulants are notorious for not being helpful lowering blood pressure.

-

will I survive freedom?

-

surviving freedom

when I’m used to planning it

 spontaneity

 

no 5 pages of dreamt of dinner,

ug

noclue what I can plan for – already determined no one wants anything but a maid to chase  about a messy excited dog.  for free.    I’m not planning for that one.

unh unh.

everythingaround me requiring a little more patience of planning…. yet wide open skies of freedom…

ug

ooo, I might have to continue on with the jello no bake series as such is about the only thing anyone wants, junk food buffet.

yum

oh and I should walk more
- convenient the dog who is directionless leash withstanding loves explaration which isn’t quite walking.

 

yeah a load lessened

dog, my life seems to call you

hydrant of desires.

 

breathe in, and breathe out

slowly let it blur formless

free from desire.

 

moose drool isn’t drool worthy so you know beer drinkers, jw dundees honey brown better/cheaper, new castle nut brown better, wells bombedier even less than it’s best is better.  there is competition in the 9 bucks a sixer ranger. 

 

Such Augustan preparations to be free.  hmf.