January 24, 2012

• a different way to see.

  

  

   

  

  

  

   

  okay, why?  the opening picture is to show you the “F” holes on a violin- they exist on violins, guitars, mandolins, dulcimers,other stringed instruments.  the second picture is of a haha equation with love as the argument….caculus.  ooo the math matics of motions   the third picture is of a magnifying glass looking over a lot of virus words repeated.. it’s point isn’t but to show you a ration of what I see.  the fourth picture is of a learning device…not the exact pushbutton get answer of 1×1 through 12×12 but close enough for you to understand  what I mean.  and a fifth sore thumb picture of a question…. deduction… still wondering why the cat suddenly went vegan?

   

  okay, my point here is a story if you can’t dig about and deduce what i mean how could you anyways but I want you to have a reason to read.  what the hell am i on about?   I’m on about seeing answers or pictures versus being able to figure or puzzle things….. in short memory versus deduction. rightish like learning versus leftish.

   

  I learned mostly by knowing the answers.  a shitty way to learn as that was my only underscored emotionally positive thing….   now in sixth grade when I was ripped from educational discovery to sit in a study hall with the degerates socially… special education.  I mean was not taken from class to discover I was sentenced to be ignored and bored labeled special.  now stop- it’s not my fault that I didn’t deduce the opportunity in front of me at what 11…just after a summer of saturdays watching calculus ooo ing the graphics and understanding motion but not the damn gibberish to explain it  – just the concept or the answers     I learned 2 years before some and still at a level i suppose through middleschool although I showed a very marked problem with?  mechanics of language- not what language and stories are but mechanics…what is a proper use of a comma?  shut up.  I can spell and probably better than a good many   mmmh? prove it? kiss off, this is my blog and I have a reason not to perfect for you.  it’s hard to see what you do therefore I miss your perfection having had to guess the answers for 37 years… and I’m fairly good at it. 

   

  but stop, the point here is in a way left to my own devices, I learned what is only to “cheat”  thus a process of learning stopped within my processees.  the right answers, no longer important as much as the process speedily gaining right answers becomes important- this may be why college has elluded me twice while I’m still good at what I’m good at; I’m still testing the same 37 years later as roughly as fast mentally as I did at 7 without my glasses as i do now with my eyewear….hey we all fade in time  shhh.   I’m still pretty heh.  faded glory…smack my ass in me jeans…so to speak.   

   

  so I;m sitting in sixth grade and I see this calculus “f” integrated… to know that the “F meant that not fail  was a profitable thing to know because of this next thing learned

  13 x 13 = 169.  why those two things?  because what tests were designed to test was deduction and those same exact questions repeated for? six years.  I thus posess  a high grade on tests because I didn’t know that 13.x 13 meaning the answers important were 169, or the square root of 169 is 13…remember the grid learner picture?…again while the tool helped me to understand faster in a picture form what deduction means… it isn’t deduction. 

   

  now look at the last picture  of a mousetrap with a caption of: Still wondering why the cat suddenly went vegan?”   now ask yourself how fast it took you to get the joke….or if you get the joke….  I do and I can. woot for me  but it took? not a jiffy hence this humor isn’t for me it took about a second or two… long enough to look stupid for not getting it and not want to play.

   

  this brings up the third picture… this is what i see.  I have to be about 2 inches from this fifteen inch laptop screen thus effectively see about oh 1/4 of it  even if I can guess the picture and what all the blur says in an instant hust like you can…and actually likely quite a lot faster than many…this also leads you to see me as smart.  memory and guessing, not deduction.  but the point here isn’t me special like that although if you think so, thank you.  the point of todays exercise is

  how do you pardon people who could have helped you not to be pissed off for being bunged into a room with degenerates socially to be bored feeling cheated out of discovery only to learn best i couled only to learn that such was cheating in a way, not to learn better study habits because that can’t be reinforced with out understanding which i sure didn’t get in sixth grade… how come i wasn’t taught to help people not social degenerates learn when I could help duh, I’m smart enough to in little ways learn to lead instead of

   

  learn to rifle through the emergency contact cards  learning all the cute girls’ phone numbers in the in-school suspension I got for being shown a lesson that adult didn’t care “” to teach me and school yard honor didn’t count for me I was turned in in precisely the time it took to beline to the monitor.  later decduce the other real bad boy of school – also bunged into the special ed area  for his horrible offense of running away from a fight during the all school assembly when the barreling ex-navy gym teach came steamtraining for his collison with justice….oh shucks anyone deduce that middleschool children are in far more trouble for ditching school than a fight?  good people   I told him why feel despondant, you’re busted, your made to feel sad- fuck em, you’re in a room with a television and a computer – games over here.  you’re supposed to not get society fine don’t watch tv or entertain yourself  fuck ‘em.  fuck what they want- you can’t beat them but you don’t have to play their game.

   

  that’s what i learned and not good deduction…rebellion… for you see I couldn’t figure out the good ways.  I was only shown irritants and how to deal with that on my own.  pity I wasnt’ helped to be more positive..who has the time? 

   

  how do you forgive people who fail you… not kidding i was told to take responsibility- It took me 4 IEP’s which by the way i attended in sixth onwards… I was so pissed that yet again  “taking responsibility didn’t mean stand to your music/consequences but?  don’t get caught.  I really do not like that I’m left to founder . 

   

  ever see a whisper of strong sense of independance because of a distaste to being labeled disable leading to a real life situation where i’ve upped a price for my salvation by being harder to deal with and less fun to teach?  to invest in?  choose… yet what do I want now then forever more? to be invested in?

   

    bet you didn’t think I’d go this direction with picture did you? heheheheh.

  • 9:51 am
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