March 31, 2012
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Statistical Powers Analysing Novel Kookiness
http://www.sidewalklyrics.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/spanking.jpg
Let’s face it, Statistics are a punishment as much of education is. One just waits for the book across the backside and to be sent off to our room to howl it off. As I’m feling masochistic about my interests I will now punish YOU with the rest of your reading on the white Rice (rightness) of Mathematic “brilliance?”
Oh Jeanie of Math make me wise
Bedazzle me with powers before my eyes
One plus one equals two – buckle my shoe
I want more from life than that before I’m through
Oh Jeanie of math make me wise
and show me truth others denounce as lies
As a trapdoor spider awaiting it’s meal
I pounce upon the bug-witted with a squeal.
In the forests of words
all said awaits its ears
But step carefull about your map
so you may harvest the world like a champ.
I did not learn it fast
so I stood at bus stops awaiting the splash
Think now to the power of puddle
rice grows there by the bundlesI remember back to algebra class
that wicked confusing voodoo at a glance
But this story of pwers doubling
rattles about still troubling
A king hords rice for times of trouble
’til it came naught to be found in the rubble
A mathmatic wit tricking? king for a town redemption
double each day your gift without exception
Two upon two is four upon four more
Eight on eight, sixteen – seeming even to the poor
but double what little you have and believe
as a month 30 days doubled becomes billions acheived
Oh Jeanie of Math what does this mean
is is truly salvation for me gleened?
I tricked a stupid king into feeding a town?
perhaps, but look again at the truth all around
I must wait 18 days to feed folks but one day
a true struggle of believe eand effort you may say
not to mention carrying the later logistics
of you carry a towns year of food, oi vey what now statistis?
Now a billion grains of rice-lets make it two
and let’s say the king’s no dullard, no fool
You take from him his prized polished rice
You ask for quantity so quality jips you more than twice
For you see a pound of rice is grains 29,000
and the best grades are 4 times that mountain
Either way, be it 74000 pounds food to guard,
or but a measly 18k pounds – a task somewhat less hard
It’s yours unguarded til it’s gone
yes, a year’s trouble alll year long
and a gift? you’ve gambled more than a year
it’s two years to protect yourself and repay just debts – clear?
Doubling your work and risks
for nothing but toils more brisk
If you lose you just die
and to me that king was not greedy but wise
King guards now one less grain tower
is repaid double and does less gaining in power
But the town wins life and more troubles
five years luck to win their struggle
They must now fend more for themselves
yet their burden to state doubles
Numbers, you see, are a double edged sword
Oh Jeanie Math you evil Jin I adore
Be careful now how you bitch of others greed
They may reward you with but more troubles with glee
Jeanie Math isn’t on you side
Oh Jeanie jin of Math you’re just out for your cut as any bride
One greedy dumb king husbanded with skill
and hustled a town with prosperity for the thrill
Oh Jeanie jin of Math
sing to me the power of nothing’s path
-if you’re Curious the math is this:
rice doubled, 2 to the power of 30 is
http://mathletenation.com/content/one-grain-rice-power-doubling-92310-kindergarten
(I heard that story in college FUCK, now it’s for kindergardeners)
rice grains
29,000 ~ http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_grains_of_rice_are_in_a_one_pound_
google math of ~2Gigs grains of rice divided by above info leaving between 18k -74k+
caloric value within a pound of rice
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_calories_in_one_pound_of_rice
survivalist proof that such isn’t a complete diet
http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?t=41765
pone pound per person per day x 365dividing ~18k by 365 is just over 50 (people a small villiage)
information on rice production 7000-9000 california rice production per acre
http://www.ers.usda.gov/publications/sb974-7/sb974-7.pdf
to bring some concept of the scope of work required to grow a lot of rice
the stupity of the dream that is the itty bitty farm
http://www.newworldeconomics.com/archives/2010/040410.htmlto remind people if they’re unware of the scope of math it isn’t for one peorson its beyond that
please read the table within the powers of double t see that it takes about 18 days “total starvation” before the first day of food arrive but by the end of the tail logistics will show you it take nearly a month to transport the remaining gift.
there is your spanking on the silly notions we’re dazzled by in mathematics
Comments (9)
I am glad I never had a statistics class. I did have this weird math class that in the grand scheme of things made absolutely no sense to my program. It was something about number systems and basically the whole time we learned how to do math in stuff like binary.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I’m not particularly adeptat math so I…uh… write poetic isms about mathmatics
This is super awesome!
@Xcite_Me - :D I was feeling ornery and the por people I sent versions of this to were looking at me funny as if I spanked them with a math story LOL. I had to be me
perhaps I’m not the greatest of wits all the time but I just had to poke holes in this gem.
Josh, this is really wonderful. you’ve outdone yourself!
and that king learned a lesson.
well done!
@plantinthewindow - :) the story doesn’t hold water obviously
thanks kind sir 
sure he did 
I love it Josh! Wowza! But two things. First, I never got spanked as a child! Isn’t that awesome?! And, therefore, I never spanked my girls! Second, what if you changed the rice to wild rice? Would it change the whole equation? hahahahahaha One reason I majored in Journalism in college was so I wouldn’t have to take math classes! hee, hee
@heart_beep - you are lucky and pass such on.
wild rice has roughly and averaged 8000 seed kernals per pound but remember grading allow some to shatter this grain is known for that. so to get a weight measurement from the number of total grains divided by the grains per pound average or ~2.1 billion / 8000 yields 265k pounds which is shown by nutrition data to be not the 1000 calories per pound I was told but about 450… so as I’m aming for as simple of math as I can get 4x 450 is 1800 calories which still is too so we’ve not pounds but but daily raition of food of roughly . 67kounds… now this must be divided by 365…the year til next harvest so we have the number of people such a measure of food would support.. and that is 183 which is a wildly diferent number than rice rice’s 50. weird it’s less nutritious than rice…well anyways to finish your answer with extra credit 296 pound of green wild rice becomes roughly seventy five pounds finished process rice 296 is roughky the production of one acre900 hundred acres are thus required with good yield to achieve the finished product of the number of grains.. now the number of of tasty because of it’s difficulty to procure thus rarity
1 vast difference in yeild and processing but 183 makes sense that’s FAR below rices 20 something acres hint their indeed would be a significant gift involved with the wining 2 billion grains of wild rice that’s 10 villages work o …. and even a bandit attack would not ruin the value of the gift as it’s still 3 years worth of food they were saved and make money.- screw the greedy kingf production!
http://corn.agronomy.wisc.edu/Crops/WildRice.aspx
(as to what such means for the story, well
that entirely invalidates my conclusions then as a villiage that instantly recieves 3 years worth of food has the year of famine a protected year of another famine and 1 year’s worth of money t still profit fabulously… ahhh win win win ahhh.o be made of now surprlus grain that’s highlly prized in hard times and thus wold make thefend off thievery’s loss and gift an instant salvation. so smarty woman 10 villages lose to one’s pretigious acheivemand that of course is human nature winning your needs surplus of security enough additional surplus to ent
Pretty good there Joshy